Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Suck it, Sunnyvale, California!

I went for a long run yesterday, as I frequently do, but this time it felt a little different. Things sort of looked a little different, too. I took a route that I've run several times before, so I wasn't seeing anything new, but I suppose the context had changed. See, I read yesterday morning that the city I live in is, according to Portfolio.com, the ninth wealthiest city in America. I had no idea. They certainly got those numbers before I moved in, that's for sure, because I tend to be a statistical outlier, and not on the same side of the spectrum as those who "own a fancy sports car" or "charter private jets" or "receive a paycheck" (unless you're talking about wealth of character, of course, in which case you want me in your city.)

Then again, maybe I do have something to do with those numbers. Sure, I'm not contributing much to the statistics, except to drag them down, but perhaps there's something else going on here. After all, the last place I lived before moving here in November just happens to be in the richest county in America, as measured by per capita income. Maybe my proximity inspires others to industry. It should, if for no other reason than to pick up the slack.

My run yesterday actually included a few miles outside the city and county limits in a neighboring census-designated place, itself noted for producing one Ryan Seacrest, and also identified as the third (pshh) richest town in the state. Naturally I picked up the pace a bit through there, because poor people frighten me.

Side note: And lest my new feelings of statistically-supported superiority of place actually cause my head to swell to unhealthy proportions, the toilet seat broke today while I was sitting on it. That'll bring anybody's self-image back down to earth. You see, kids, even the rich and fabulous sit bare-assed on over-matched toilet seats in one-bedroom apartments.

13 comments:

Jacob said...

Ha! You broke the toilet. I've never even done that and I outweigh you by almost 100 lbs. Maybe you shouldn't run with the toilet. Wait until you finish running. It's not designed to handle any real torque.

I ran in the dark last night after I used the toilet. The main problem with me is that it was a public toilet at a high school in a building outside the main school building that is just toilets and a storage shed. I made sure to paper the seat, but I didn't break it. As for the darkness, I always assumed there were street lights inside the city limits. Turns out my town is too country for even that. Luckily, there was at least half a moon.

courtney said...

Yeah, that toilet seat is done for. I guess it's because you're so stinking rich. (Get it? Stinking? ZING.)

Julie said...

Are you getting a job with the census or something? Because I don't think they're going to scour your blog to see if you would make a good candidate and confirm that you really do care about the stats. You can relax.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Newton, MA is in the top 7 wealth centers as well. Interesting. Apparently none of them are public school teachers.

sid said...

I love the idea that proximity could inspire others to industry.

Also had a good laugh at Jacob's comment.

The problem with living in rich cities is that the normal ppl have a hard time surving in those cities. I live in Cape Town, have been working for 4 years as a skilled professional AND still can NOT afford a house.

Aaron said...

I was just going to snark on my neighbors* in Newton, Ma, but I see NPW beat me to it. But seriously, those cats are d-bags.

Also, nice job on the toilet seat. That is something few people will achieve in this lifetime.

* - In that we are in the same state.

オテモヤン said...

オナニー
逆援助
SEX
フェラチオ
ソープ
逆援助
出張ホスト
手コキ
おっぱい
フェラチオ
中出し
セックス
デリヘル
包茎
逆援
性欲

A Free Man said...

So you're to thank for dragging them down to 9. Perhaps a call to the Young Republicans or the Chamber of Commerce and they'll give you a ride to downtown Hotlanta where you clearly belong.

Allie said...

Hahaha! I broke a toilet seat once too. I know there are more humiliating things out there that can happen, but at the time, it didn't feel like there could be. There's something inexplicably weird about it.

Noelle said...

I agree with the Asian guy. Especially the part about sex.

em said...

Yeah I was going to make some comment about shopping in Atlanta but that Asian guy took the cake. He really knows what he's talking about.

The Modern Gal said...

I always knew Ryan Secrest was a scrub.

Here's something to make you feel better. You're not this person: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23595533/

Chris said...

We all need a good humbling experience from time to time. I can think of no better such experience than having the toilet seat break beneath your ass.

Sid makes good points about living in wealthy cities -- hence I remain in small town USA. (Of course, the big disadvantage there is that if I should lose my current job, I won't be able to find a replacement within 50 miles of here.)