Sometimes the previews ARE better

On Saturday, after I completely demoralized all other entrants in the 25-29 age group in a 5K race, the lady and I had some time to kill before meeting up with some old (increasingly in every way) college friends for a night of campfire gazing and beer swilling in the north Georgia woods. First, we redeemed the coupons for free Chick-Fil-A sandwiches that were included in our otherwise disappointing 5K goodie bags. After that, we took a drive through the campus of our alma mater and cursed our parents for not concieving us about eight years later so we could have enjoyed some of the amazing things the school has added since we graduated, like the new bajillion-dollar athletic center, two frisbee golf courses, and a dorm that probably doesn't yet smell like the petrified asshole of an alcoholic brontosaurus (I don't get it either.) As if I needed any more distractions from studying.

When we were finished our trip down kids-these-days-are-so-spoiled lane, we headed up the road to catch a matinee of Burn After Reading. The movie was okay; not the Coens' best work but still very entertaining. What dominated our post-screening conversation, however, was what came before the film. First up after the lights were dimmed was a music video, Kid Rock featuring Dale Earnhardt, Jr., that quite naturally turned out to be a recruiting ad for the National Guard. Hi-freaking-larious. I don't know exactly when a rap-metal greaseball from Detroit became the biggest Republican wet dream this side of Toby Keith, but Mr. Ritchie sure seems to relish the title. I can't be quite sure what Little E's role in this thing is, except to show how the life of a guy who drives in circles for millions of dollars a year exactly parallels those of the men and women who take bullets and lose limbs in Iraq and Afghanistan in the name of "freedom." The similarities are pretty obvious.



Immediately following this seemingly untoppable ridiculousness, it got even better: A full-on preview of a film called Fireproof, starring Kirk Cameron. They wanted to call it Backdraft II: God Hates Democrats, but the studio decided on a more moderate marketing approach.



Is this really going to be in theaters? It looks more like an after-school special or a straight-to-DVD release (which I think it probably will be for most of us), but good for Mike Seaver for getting it made despite the shitstorm of ridicule from people like me that he must have known would follow!

And then came the coarse language, graphic violence and zany characters that you would expect from the Coens. Someone else on the interweb stated that they saw the Fireproof trailer before Hamlet 2, a film featuring a song called "Rock Me, Sexy Jesus." Who does the marketing for these things?