Thursday, March 12, 2009

Coal is so gay

Forgive me if I'm getting all prematurely Wyoming-y on you these days, but yesterday I found the following facts on the news wire:

1. The state currently holding the title of lowest unemployment rate in the nation: yup, the Cowboy State, although I think it has less to do with cowboys (Wasn't that gay cowboy movie set in Wyoming? No, not that one, this one.) and more to do with the massive amounts of low-sulphur coal they're unceremoniously ripping out of the ground in the Powder River Basin and the bajillion natural gas wells they've drilled in the upper Green River Basin. While I obviously have serious concerns about both of these activities, the energy industry is (so far) recession-proof. In fact, taking in the electronic, coal-powered glow of these letters from your computer screen is keeping some Wyomingite in Cheetos and beer, so good for you.

2. A Gallup survey of Americans' well-being ranked Wyoming third, behind Utah and Hawaii. MSNBC spun it as a "happiness" poll, and I'd like to think that any state where the cowboys can be gay is a state where we can all be gay. I intend to be quite gay there, gayer than a singing nun on a hilltop.

Add to that Wyoming's enduring title as the least populated state in the union, and I'd say I'm looking forward to going back. Unfortunately I've still got several weeks left before I even need to start packing and I'm having a hard time thinking of ways to occupy myself. Check that- constructive ways to occupy myself. There's just not a lot to be done at this point. Sure, tonight the lady and I are planning on seeing How I Became the Bomb at the Pilot Light (any Knoxvillian readers who like 80's-style synth-pop should come on down), but then what?

12 comments:

Erin said...

From the gay and happy state of Utah, again, I exhort you: Go West, young man! Anyone who is this excited for a trip to Wyoming this many weeks in advance should be out here.

So pull on your boots, find yourself a boyfriend and get ready to tear down some mountains for a dime's worth of oil shale. You won't regret it!

Analyst Catalyst said...

I frequently refer to Back to the Future III as my favorite movie. I don't even know if I'm joking anymore.

Stefanie said...

Having fewer people around generally makes ME happy, so that poll makes perfect sense to me.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Dude, you're not already gay in Knoxville?

I'd be pretty happy if I lived in Hawaii. Higher powers, please make it be so!

Anonymous said...

I am from Wyoming and just wanted to let you know you should come to our beautiful state! Just so you know I think you are a little misinformed about the pace of energy development. The recesssion has definitely hit the energy industry and still is hitting the energy industry - really hard. I didn't like it when you said "uncerimoniously ripping out" have you ever went on a coal mine or coalbed natural gas tour? There are more rules and regulations surrounding coal development and coalbed methane development than you think. I was born and raised in this state, as were my parents, and this energy development is WHY we rank so high in the happiness poll and WHY we have the lowest unemployment rate in a recession. People are happy because they have JOBS and MONEY - I am the first person to burn a dollar bill - it destroys the true meaning of happiness but when you don't have to stress over paying bills you are happy - do you get it? Coal and Energy development is the best thing that happened to this state - the worst thing that has happenend is misinformed 'greenies' who think we are destroying the state for minerals. That simply isn't true. People in the energy industry are the SAME people that enjoy hiking, boarding and other outdoor activities. This is just food for thought when you come and visit our state.

mickey said...

Anonymous- But you're good on Cheetos and beer? Just checking. Let me know and I can bring some.

courtney said...

Gayer than a singing nun on a hilltop? No way. Ain't nothin' gayer than that.

But just in case, I'll let Jake Gyllenhaal know you're interested.

Allie said...

Wow, you misinformed "greenie!" You got flamed! That's hysterical. As was your reply.

Julie said...

Hrmm. I would think you would want to keep the bomb away from the pilot light for fear it would explode.

I also will agree that energy is not entirely recession proof. It has not been hit like other industries but matt's company has put a freeze on hiring and raises. Yes, other companies are out of business, but it's still affected.

anonymous gets a name said...

Hey Mickey - yeah - I do happen to love Cheetos and Beer. Bring it on!
Julie and Allie seem to know what is up - nothing's recession proof.

The Modern Gal said...

Man, I had so much to say about this post, but Anonymous took the words right out of my mouth. Guess I need to get to commenting faster.

Greenie. Heh. They obviously don't know you.

Anonymous said...

Thank u :-) you should look at this emo boy one on this blog:
http://emo--boys.blogspot.com