Friday, November 7, 2008

Rerun, Raj and Dwayne were nowhere to be found, either

Just got through watching The Happening. Aside from amusing ourselves making fun of the movie's title (when something would happen on screen, which surprisingly was not often, one of us would say "That just happened," or "That wind is happening right now"), the only redeeming thing about the film was the one good laugh the lady and I had the instant Mark Wahlberg spoke his first line. I'm afraid that forevermore, Mark Wahlberg will just sound like he's doing an impression of Andy Samberg doing Mark Wahlberg.

This was a horrible movie. As bad as Lady in the Water was, it was Citizen Kane compared to this Happening pile of bull crap. I honestly don't even know how to explain M. Night Shyamalan. The Sixth Sense was a good movie. I liked Unbreakable. Signs was good right up until we see the lame guy-in-a-green-bodystocking alien that inexplicably succumbs to friggin' water. And that might be exactly the point that M. Night started writing dialogue that would make even George Lucas cringe and somehow securing funding to shoot movies that read like a first draft.

Ugh. It just sickens me.

And for anyone unclear about my title today, this would have made a much better movie:






Oh yeah, I almost forgot: I was honored today with an award from A Free Man.



Actually, I was substituted for the award since Courtney's collegiate football allegiances disqualified her. Whatever, I'll take what I can get. I've been thinking of adding A Free Man to my blogroll and I guess this is as good a reason as any to forego the prescribed waiting period. I know, I know- we have rules for a reason and they keep everyone safe, but I think he's earned his spot. As long as we use the proper precautions and keep our wits about us, we should be all right.

Really, check out his blog if you get a chance. The guy's whip-smart and besides that he's an ex-pat in Australia! Good on ya!

7 comments:

Courtney said...

Holy shit, that was a bad movie. After this and Lady in the Water, Shyamalan is so fired. The Village sucked ass, too.

Aaron said...

Ah, Courtney beat me to dissing The Village, aka the last Shyamalan movie I watched. Sad, too, because I really dug The Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, and parts of Signs. Or at least the first time I saw Signs. The second time, not so much.

Stefanie said...

You have a prescribed waiting period for blogroll additions? My method is to nearly forget I have a blogroll, until one day I say, "Hmm. Is he/she on the list yet? No? Whoops. I should do that." My blogroll, it's more arbitrary than I should be. I'm complicated (OK, lazy) like that.

A Free Man said...

Too bad it sucked, I love me some Marky Mark. Three Kings?

"Whip smart" is a bit strong, I think, but I'll take it.

Julie said...

I really liked Signs and while The Village was not great, I thought it was good enough. I am not a critic, though. I can find some redeeming values in some pretty bad stuff.

Chris said...

I always get it mixed up and think Rerun was a character on Fat Albert.

Does that make me racist?

Allie said...

The Sixth Sense is only good the first time you watch it. I got stuck watching it a few times, and the big wow moment at the end doesn't really hold up. I think when people have a hit movie/book/record right off the bat, often then think they are brilliant instead of realizing all the input and support they had in that brilliance. I'm a better writer b/c my writing group tells me when I suck. I think people like M. get too big for their britches and don't listen when people tell them they suck, and then they end up really sucking.