Monday, November 24, 2008

Origin, by way of confession

I've been meaning to get around to explaining the origin for the title of this blog for some time now. I have never waited tables at Denny's, although if I had I have no doubt that I would have been the prettiest. I am just so pretty. But that still wouldn't make me a waitress, because I'm a dude. Actually, I think I've only ever been in a Denny's once in my life, and that was somewhere in south Florida many springs ago. I probably had the Grand Slam Breakfast. Damn that sounds good right now.

I wish I could say that the phrase is completely made up, but it's not. It would have been a pretty good bit of random inspiration from someone who is a devoted fan of randomness, but not this time.

Nope, like all my best ideas, this one is lifted straight from someone much more clever (and drunker) than I, in this case comedian Doug Stanhope. I believe I already told the story of when I saw him perform live. I've been trying to find the clip on YouTube featuring the line I'm making famous here, and every bit of that act can be found except for the few seconds during which he utters the line. That figures. So I put my copy of the DVD in and recorded the TV screen with my camera. Does it still constitute copyright infringement if Stanhope signed the DVD cover with a personal message?



I suppose he was thanking me for the twenty bucks I had just handed him. Little did he know that that money was also purchasing the rights to rebroadcast the contents with no further permission in perpetuity.
(I'm actually out backpacking in Georgia today, so I'll see all you crazy kids tomorrow if Jacob or the bears don't eat me.)

12 comments:

Julie said...

So you're the best of the worst? Congratulations, I think. That's got to be better than being the worst of the worst. It's definitely better than being the mediocrist of the worst.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Is it sad or funny that when you said "if Jacob or the bears don't eat me" I thought you were talking about Jacob from Twilight?

Yeah, you're right. It's sad.

Noelle said...

I have always wondered about the origin of the name, but I was still amused by it without that knowledge.

Courtney said...

Ah, Stanhope. He's a funny dude.

Allie said...

Hope you don't get eaten!

Aaron said...

Seriously, man, don't mess with the bears. Listen to Colbert on this one.

Stefanie said...

What Noelle said. Also, a little bit of what NPW said. Just a little. :-)

A Free Man said...

Well that is a mystery solved. But I was hoping for a more dramatic story regarding the origin of your name. Preferably one involving hot Dennys waitresses.

Jacob said...

Are you calling me fat?

The Modern Gal said...

Brilliant.

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