Saturday, November 22, 2008

Double chocolate chip cashew cookies? Not just yet

Today's "A Thought" on the editorial page our local paper comes from Erma Bombeck: If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.

By Erma's reckoning, tonight I will be enjoying my last meal, legally, so I better make it good. Can I help it if I happen to have a lot of business to take care of today from my couch, I happen to like football, and there happens to be a full slate of games on TV? Hardly, I should think.

Does it count if I haven't been paying complete attention to any of the games so far? I was going to make some cookies this afternoon until I discovered that we're out of vanilla extract. It really confused me, because a couple years ago I bought a bunch of the little bottles of it because they were BOGO and I figured it would last forever. It just goes to show: there is no such thing as forever when it comes to baking ingredients. What I want to know is who has been doing all the baking around here and spiriting the delicious results out of the house without my knowledge?


Cookies will just have to wait until tomorrow.

Except I'll be legally dead by then, of course.


Courtney said...

Seriously, what happened to all the vanilla extract? We hardly ever bake. Methinks the vanilla extract gnomes have been raiding our pantry.

Jacob said...

I think Erma is full of crap. I've had Saturdays where I've gotten in at least four games straight.

I only watched part of one today, though, because I was on the road most of the football part of the day. I did watch that awesome GT game on Thursday. I wish that Tech team had shown up for all of the games this year. Either that or that Miami defense had played against the Jackets all season.

Homeless people. Vanilla extract has a pretty high alcohol content. Homeless people are stealing your extract (or Courtney is guzzling it while you sleep). They basically soak the spice in distilled alcohol to make extracts. I've made my own in the past for an experiment flavoring a beer.

Stefanie said...

I was going to go the same direction as Jacob did re: the vanilla extract. Don't you remember the Very Special Episode of "Family Ties" on which Tom Hanks, as Uncle Ned, was an alcoholic and drank a whole bottle of vanilla from the pantry? I think of that every time I bake. (My mind is a steel trap for useless pop culture references.)

Aaron said...

I would actually die from watching one football game in a row, so...yeah.

Julie said...

I suppose evaporation is too lame an excuse.

Hmmm. Let's blame it on Mrs. Heavyfoot. If something is wrong in your apartment, it is certainly her doing.

Noelle said...

It's kind of funny, because I think of the same thing as Stefanie when I need to use vanilla. So maybe the adage should be changed to "if a young person watches three sitcoms in a row, she should be declared legally dead."

Anyhoo, as I'm going back through old posts, I'm glad to see you are indeed alive.

The Modern Gal said...

Nonsense. That's when you're only starting to live.