Friday, October 3, 2008

She has not lost that lovin' feelin'

To those who decided to have a good time by playing my drinking game last night during the VP debate (take a shot for every minute that passes before someone uses the word maverick): Sorry you didn't have as good a time as you could have, but I told you so. You would have had four shots. That gets me good and drunk, but for others it's just a warm-up, so I guess the outcome just depends. The initial utterance came during Palin's first chance to speak following opening remarks from each (boy, that was a clunky sentence.) I'll admit, this exceeded even my expectations. I figured she'd keep that one in her pocket until later on and everyone could get good and sloppy.

The real surprise, however, is that if you were keeping score (as Courtney-Bob and I started to do out loud), it ended up 9-6 in favor of Biden. After her first instance referring to her ticket-mate as a maverick, Palin put it away for a while before coming on really strong in the second half of the proceedings by pulling to a seemingly insurmountable 6-0 lead. Mavericks were falling from the St. Louis night sky. She was going for the kill.

Biden, consummate pro that he is, must have sensed the contest getting away from him but didn't panic. No, calmly waiting for Palin's volley of mavericks to subside, and absorbing every blow with that dignified yet un-patronizing half smile specially designed to convey respect without belittling his opponent, Joe Cool stood his ground. When his turn came, and briefly flashing that big ol' politician's grin that makes old women simultaneously hide their daughters and invite him in for pie, Biden unleashed a vicious, unrelenting flurry of mavericks, nine in all, in one tornadic exchange. Nine! And from the non-maverick side of the stage!

Palin, satisfied and understandably certain of victory with the A-Bomb's worth of mavericks she had just unloaded from behind her Washington University podium stronghold, could only watch in abject horror as Biden brushed it off with a smile and lobbed a veritable H-Bomb (Jumpin' Jesus! That's bigger than an A-Bomb!) back her way. Nine mavericks in just over one minute. Holy shit, Joe. Have mercy.



He pulled out another big gun with the story about losing his wife and daughter in a car accident, and choked up talking about his sons being critically injured in the accident as well. I only wish he could be there to pull that one out of his hat whenever McCain brings up that thing that he went through when he was in the military (dude playing him does look good in briefs, ya gotta admit.) They could have a good cry together. I'm so insensitive.

(The word maverick has been used nine times in this piece, just in case anyone has been playing a drinking game within my drinking game.)

(Also, I just noticed in that clip posted above the weird running graph at the bottom of the screen. If I had watched this live on CNN last night I may have killed myself. What the hell is wrong with these 24-hour news networks? Are they really that retarded?)

12 comments:

Amelia said...

LOL. Great point. I hate it when both Biden or McCain tries to pull the sympathy card with their "experiences." It was terrible. Now let's move on about the issues of the present and future! I can't imagine how drunk you guys were at the end of the debate. That's wayyy better than drunk Jenga!

The Modern Gal said...

BINGO!

Your analysis of the debate is far superior to any other I've seen so far this morning. You really hit on the things that matter.

And I'm with you on the sympathy card thing, but that's mostly because I'm a coldhearted MSM bitch.

The Modern Gal said...

By the way, I love the Market Square Elvis photo. I haven't seen him in a while and my life has been lacking because of it.

nancypearlwannabe said...

We didn't play any drinking games during the debate, but I did feel like drinking every time a question was directed at that shrew lady.

JustinS said...

Oh, that graph an the CNN thing? That's actually kinda interesting...

It's a technique developed by this one GOP pollster/researcher dude a few years back. He developed it to use it with focus groups to help the GOP figure out what worked with people. If I remember correctly, he was one of the reasons they started using "climate change" for "global warming" and "death tax" for "estate tax." Ingenious bastard.

This is the guy:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/persuaders/interviews/luntz.html

Chris said...

A Washington Post columnist commented this morning that it seemed like Palin was doing an impression of Tina Fey as Palin, with all her "golly gee" and "you betcha" remarks.

I might even go so far as to watch SNL this weekend -- for the first time in a long time. They really do their best work in presidential election seasons.

Noelle said...

I'm so hungover from all that mavericking. I couldn't pour fast enough, so I just drank from the bottle.

Aaron said...

We kept meaning to drink whenever "maverick" was tossed around, but my glass was empty every time on account of the chugging I had to do to stand listening to Sarah Palin.

Julie said...

I should definitely drink more and this would have been a great opportunity to start. I'm sorry I let your wonderful drinking game go to waste.

I did watch SNL and think the funniest part was when Tina Fey looked at the camera and said, "for all those Joe Six Packs out there: Maverick." She then mimed popping the tab on a beer can and tipping it back. Totally amusing. Perhaps Joe was the inspiration. Perhaps he wanted you to get drunk and did it on purpose.

Stefanie said...

I actually did watch it on CNN, and the running line graph was sort of fun... It tracked the reaction of a group of undecided voters in Ohio who were given this little box with a dial on it to use during the debate. They were supposed to turn it to the plus sign when they liked what a candidate was saying and to the negative when they didn't. It was fun to watch Biden get all passionate and watch the line jet up. I'd say, "Look at that! Women LOVE him!" Then I realized the line was turning upward when Palin talked to, and it got significantly less fun. Boo.

Allie said...

I didn't get to play it as a drinking game. I was holed up in a hotel and didn't have the foresight to get booze. Also, drinking alone in a hotel room probably isn't a game as much as it is pathetic.

A Free Man said...

I felt a little wierd yelling
"Git her Joe!" at 11 in the morning (local time) alone in my living room, but I've felt much wierder at various times in my life.

He was superb.

Joey B got screwed though, because nobody really paid any attention to them. They were just watching to see Palin blow up.