Okay, so who lets their first blogiversary slide by with not even a mention of the momentous occasion? This poor excuse for a blogger, that's who. And even after going to the trouble of putting up a countdown banner in my sidebar.
So my blogiversary was on the 19th. Hooray. Unfortunately it had to fall smack dab in the middle of a big-time blog funk. There's no explaining why a person with nothing but time on his hands suddenly stops writing entries for his blog and following the goings-on of his blog friends, one of the things that consistently brings him joy. There's no explaining a lot of stuff about me, really.
But I really did want to mark this blog's first birthday with some sort of acknowledgement. While I appreciate the opportunity to write for an audience that this space has provided me, it is the connections with other (supposed) people that keeps me coming back. That's you guys.
Thusly, in celebration of one year of existence for The Prettiest Denny's Waitress I give you some of the very best of what you kids have been up to around here, because sometimes it's actually not about me. In my research, I only made it through February, but I read every single post and comment on this blog from that four month span. It took a while. I wasn't trying to include everyone, exactly, and I had to call it at February because it was time to move on with life, so maybe my efforts are incomplete. So be it. Here are the greatest hits of The Prettiest Denny's Waitress's Commenters, October-February. You guys are hilarious, especially out of context.
Anti-aging: We're all going to get old. Slap on some sunscreen and call it a day, fuckers!
January 2, 2008 5:01 PM
I just like this usage of the word fuckers. And she's a mom-to-be and for some reason that makes gratuitous profanity even funnier.
Your motion is seconded. Long live Thanksgiving II. Just out of curiosity, can we build a pink river of slime? Because that seems to go over pretty well in sequels. Just sayin'.
December 7, 2007 1:53 PM
Any unprompted Ghostbusters II reference is pure gold.
I will totally get up on my "buy independent" high horse, if you want. The sad truth is that I feel like a sucker every time I pay for music, because I know there are so many people out there getting it for free.
I feel that way about sex, too.
January 14, 2008 4:29 PM
So many gems from Noelle.
Damn you Mick! The french(not good enough to be capitalized) are a usless as the air in a bag of chips used to supposedly protect the chips from crumbling into pieces where the only way to eat them is of course turn the bag upside down and funel them in your mouth then half of them are in your lap becuase the bag was not fully opened and they all collect in the corner and the avalanche begins of chip crumbs landing everywhere exept where you can enjoy the enchanting taste of the the bottom of the bag flavor all becuase of the french. They know how much we love chips and i believe they work at the factories and at night, they smush everybay they can so not one American can enjoy one bag of chips where every chip is fully intact. hightower
This is actually the most coherent comment Hightower has ever left. I think it's poetry.
I take showers as an opportunity to buy a pack of diapers and some butt cream for my expectant friends, because when else is that socially acceptable? I mean, when we're old enough for it to be acceptable again, I probably won't think it's funny anymore.Also, your picture today is hysterical, monkey boy. :)
January 24, 2008 4:27 PM
It's funny and it makes a good point. Also, the lack of context for the word "showers" makes this priceless.
People always say, "Oh, a monkey could do my job", but the fact is, monkeys are really stupid. If a monkey tried to do your job, there would be papers, desks, and most likely excrement everywhere.Unless, of course, it was one of those diaper-wearing monkeys.
January 30, 2008 5:23 PM
I can just see it so clearly.
And dammit, you would just stab the dagger, tweak it a touch, and leave it at that. I had to plunge the dagger in and then took it out to draw my own blood just to show you I was just kidding. I'm too damn nice.
February 7, 2008 8:23 PM
jacob- What in the holy fuck are you talking about? You better get a band-aid for that shit.
February 7, 2008 8:43 PM
I'm not including my own comment in the greatest hits. I'm just trying to point out that there never was any context for Jacob's comment. I still have no clue what he was talking about.
I'm typing with a papertowel over the keyboard. Your sick blog is now the equal to a restroom door.
February 16, 2008 9:36 PM
It's funny if you don't know that the post in question was about an actual physical illness.
i wrote one of those notes to my computer once. it felt good. then the freak wrote me back:"jason, try that shit again and see if i don't crash and take everything with me."we've had a strained relationship ever since.
February 19, 2008 4:55 PM
I miss Stan. I hope St. Louis is treating him well.
I only like things that are alliterative, so you have to limit yourself to that.
Multiple Martini Mondays. This is where you drink about 7 to 12 martinis, depending on your height and weight of course, and then write a post as coherently as you can. We the readers will judge the level of coherence and then berate you accordingly.
WHY isnt it the Weekend Wednesday? That's when you bitch about your week so far and then at the end say WHY ISNT IT THE WEEKEND?! (This one will be slightly predictable).
Fried Food Friday. This is where we readers will write (man I am an alliteration fool) to you a disgusting fried food you must eat (I am thinking squirrel testicles today) and then you have to eat that food and describe how it tastes. With only words that begin with the letter F, of course. Wait. Maybe the fried food should be alliterative too. Bat Brains. Llama Lips. Horse Hooters.
Racist Rednesday! You have to write a post that is so hideously racist and obscene that it makes you ashamed to be alive. (sort of like I am right now). Holy hell, something is wrong with my brain today. Seriously, forgive me. On a less idiotic note, here is something I have wondered: How long have you and your lady lived in Knox and why did you move here?
February 22, 2008 3:35 PM
I'm still laughing about Racist Rednesday. I should really revisit some of these ideas.
I really am sorry to those of you left out of this edition. If you were, there are another eight months I didn't cover and I am absolutely positive you were entirely hilarious during that time. Either way, I'm going to buckle down for NaBlo around here, so keep reading and leaving some of your own words behind. We're just getting warmed up around here.