Hello? Anybody out there? knock, knock (the sound of knuckles wrapping against computer monitor) Hello?
Fine. I’ll write anyway. My words may drift off, unread, into the ether, but half the equation is better than nothing.
Really, people. You gotta give me something to read. I know there’re a few of you out there still poking around the internet, leaving the odd comment here and there, but this feels like the e-Armageddon or something. I can only amuse myself for so long. Besides that, I don’t have anything to write about. I need inspiration and, I hate to say it, you inspire me.
Dammit, now look what you’ve done. I’m getting all misty-eyed. Okay, I’ll say it: I miss you! Now would you please just put down the cookies and the eggnog and type something already? This has gone on long enough. Seriously.
C’mon. I put myself out there. The least you can do is give me a quick little recap of your drunk uncle’s Christmas Eve antics or what shitty movie your parents made you go see with them. Or just post about the weather! Is that too much to ask?! It’s 41 fucking degrees out and absolutely shitting rain here right now! What do you think of that shit, huh!
I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just a little lonely around here, that’s all. I know it’s not your fault you’ve actually got a few days off and can’t be bothered to throw a few blog scraps down to those of us stuck at work. Whatever. It’s cool.
And there I go again. This passive-aggressive thing really isn’t me. I don’t want to be like this, but you’ve driven me to this dark place. Entertain me, dammit!
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4 comments:
Hey. I posted yesterday and all you did was insult me in my comments.
I won't hold it against you, though. I know you're lonely. That's why you're driving down to see me tonight, right?
Sigh. I'll try to write something tomorrow. It might not be very New Year's inspirational, but you know how I do. Plus, Rochester is not the most inspiring of places unless you want a recap of every meal for three days, so I better wait till I get home to regale you with wit.
You are ungrateful.
I seem to remember someone begging for post ideas during NaBloPoMoFo. I was a fountain of suggestions then and, as I remember it, you took a couple weeks to respond. You made only one post from those suggestions. That's sad, Mickey. It was a waste.
Instead of begging people to entertain you, you could be the inspiration. You could take this opportunity to shame all your friends. But if you want to take this opportunity to pull only a few chuckles out of me as I picture you with a buzz cut in a letterman's jacket go ahead. Squander your opportunities. See if I care.
I'm sorry I wasn't commenting back then. I was visiting the in-laws and only had a few minutes of computer time here and there.
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