Hello? Anybody out there? knock, knock (the sound of knuckles wrapping against computer monitor) Hello?
Fine. I’ll write anyway. My words may drift off, unread, into the ether, but half the equation is better than nothing.
Really, people. You gotta give me something to read. I know there’re a few of you out there still poking around the internet, leaving the odd comment here and there, but this feels like the e-Armageddon or something. I can only amuse myself for so long. Besides that, I don’t have anything to write about. I need inspiration and, I hate to say it, you inspire me.
Dammit, now look what you’ve done. I’m getting all misty-eyed. Okay, I’ll say it: I miss you! Now would you please just put down the cookies and the eggnog and type something already? This has gone on long enough. Seriously.
C’mon. I put myself out there. The least you can do is give me a quick little recap of your drunk uncle’s Christmas Eve antics or what shitty movie your parents made you go see with them. Or just post about the weather! Is that too much to ask?! It’s 41 fucking degrees out and absolutely shitting rain here right now! What do you think of that shit, huh!
I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to yell. It’s just a little lonely around here, that’s all. I know it’s not your fault you’ve actually got a few days off and can’t be bothered to throw a few blog scraps down to those of us stuck at work. Whatever. It’s cool.
And there I go again. This passive-aggressive thing really isn’t me. I don’t want to be like this, but you’ve driven me to this dark place. Entertain me, dammit!