Tuesday, November 4, 2008

RussertBowl LVI: This one counts

Early results are in. Dixville Notch and Hart's Location, the two tiny New Hampshire towns that traditionally are the first polling places in the nation to announce their results and once again experienced 100% turnout, favor that one guy over the other. This is notable because it's the first time they've voted for that one guy's party over that other guy's party since 1968, when they preferred that Metrodome guy over that "not a crook" guy. This last fact I find extremely heartening.

But I'm not naming names here because I just discovered that there is one place outside of baseball where I find myself superstitious: this election. I think it's the constant reminder by the media, every day for the past several weeks, that that one guy is comfortably ahead in the polls. It just sounds like a big fat jinx. Anybody who trusts the veracity of any sentence involving the word "poll" after the 2000 election is a flaming idiot, and I am at most merely a quietly smoldering idiot. In other words, it ain't over until one of those guys puts his hand on the Bible (or the Koran, right?) on January 20th, and I'm not believing the hype.

That's why I voted. And I didn't even get a sticker for it. I'm just glad the good people of Dixville Notch and Hart's Location (is there nothing distinguishing there to take the place of "Location," like maybe a Hill, or a Bridge, or even just a Corner?) spoke up for that one guy because around these parts that other guy is probably going to take it, despite my vote to the contrary.

This is my third presidential election. I (and the nation as a whole) got skunked the last two times out. My first pull of the lever was for Nader/LaDuke (they weren't even on my ballot), and I still have no idea who LaDuke is. I could have written in Cookie Monster ten thousand times and the great state of Georgia would still have gone red. Last time out I was denied my right to vote. I was trying to cast my ballot in absentia and it mysteriously did not get there in time. Again, though, Georgia did not miss my tick for Kerry/Edwards, going red all the way. Today I managed to resist the Nader urge that college-age me had succumbed to (he was actually on the ballot this time) and the curious pull of Georgians Bob Barr and Cynthia McKinney, neither of whom I knew were running, but both of whom scare the crap out of me.

But I'm not saying who I voted for, just to be safe. So what's my point then? Oh, yeah- third time's the charm.

(Fingers crossed.)

(Tim Russert and his crazy whiteboard will be missed tonight.)

13 comments:

surviving myself said...

Bob Barr was really counting on you this year too. For shame.

Courtney said...

What color would Georgia have been if Nader had won? Hopefully green.

Hmmm, who's scarier - Barr or McKinney? I actually think McKinney is worse. Barr's an asshole, but she's just insane.

Noelle said...

I'm 10 ways from Sunday superstitious about this, too.

Rachel said...

The other guy will no doubt win my state as well, but that's OK. I've come to expect nothing less from my red surroundings. Actually, my county is blue, but we're apparently an anomaly.

My fingers are crossed too, so hard that circulation is beginning to get cut off.

Allie said...

I've been knocking on wood like it's my job. The last time I did it, the dog thought someone was at the door and starting barking like crazy.

Chris said...

Yes, we created teeny-tiny purple splashes in the sea of red that is the Southeast electoral vote map.

And you're right: Hart's Location is just a terrible name. They should have just called it Location. At least that would be dumb enough to be funny.

sid said...

I can't wait to hear the results. I'm hoping that America doesn't decide to elect another retard. Ain't 10 years of stupidity enough for you guys?

Jacob said...

Yay me! I actually knew about Barr and McKinney, but I have no clue why. I agree with Courtney that I think McKinney was the scarier of the two options. I would NEVER vote for Barr, but I actually respect the guy. You know exactly what you're getting with him and he was also the only Republican working for the ACLU.

And this quote was one of your best: "and I am at most merely a quietly smoldering idiot"

I don't like it because I think you're an idiot. I just like the phrasing.

Jacob said...

Oh, wait. It was because I looked up the candidates to prepare for my opening lecture when I started the research project for my class. That's why I knew. I got paid to find that out, beotch!

The Modern Gal said...

RussertBowl? Ha ha ha ha. Have you noticed that Russert's kid is reporting on the youth vote for NBC?

A Free Man said...

Yeah, I missed Russert. All I could get video from was MSNBC so it was kind of six hours of dueling egos between Olbermann and Matthews. I was hoping they'd start girly slapping each other and that Rachel Maddow would beat them both down.

Julie said...

I guess your superstition paid off. Does this mean that he-who-must-not-be-named will remain unnamed until Inaguration day? 'Cause you said you wouldn't believe it until he had his hand on the Bible.

Aaron said...

NEW HAMPSHIRE!! WOO-HOO! Granite Sta--

...sorry.