I've heard it said that Guns 'N Roses was the last real rock band. That's stupid, but I see the point. Maybe that's why after 17 years without putting out a single album of original material, somebody still cares that Axl is going to drop some new music on us in ten days.
No, I won't be buying, but that's not going to stop me from waxing nostalgic, either. The other day in the car (my lady friend's car, because the radio in mine hasn't seen any use for most of a decade), we heard the new G 'N f'n R song and I immediately knew what it was. Axl is unmistakable. He's also a one-namer. Forgetting the fictional Axel Foley, he's the only Axl there is, even if his band these days is only G 'N R by name.
But back to that whole "last real rock band" comment. Obviously that can't mean that no one is producing good rock music anymore, because that would be bullcock (my new curse word; try it out, you might like it.) Rock music just isn't the same without Axl picking fights with everyone in sight. Don't get me wrong; I'm really into bands like Radiohead, whose music I will pay for whether they ask me to or not, but how many riots has Radiohead caused? Zero. And what fun is that? Shit, those guys even went to college. Losers. Axl never went to no college. Axl was too busy rockin'.
Guns N' Roses were dangerous. People died at their concerts. Somehow, all the band members survived. The band itself did not. No Slash, no G 'N R. Axl may own the name, but those days are past. But he's still Axl. The one and only.
If you feel like rockin' with Axl, below is G 'N R doing "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" at the Ritz in 1988. At the risk of pissing off Bob Dylan fans and rational people everywhere, this particular performance is, to me, the definitive version of the song. Also, painted-on leather pants with suspenders is really hot. No, make that hott (the extraneous "t" means business.)
Since that song does not even have a single mention of bananas (Dylan never was fond of the fruit), I've turned to The Muppets to fill today's potassium quota.