Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Please Axl, don't hurt 'em (that dude is bananas)

I've heard it said that Guns 'N Roses was the last real rock band. That's stupid, but I see the point. Maybe that's why after 17 years without putting out a single album of original material, somebody still cares that Axl is going to drop some new music on us in ten days.

No, I won't be buying, but that's not going to stop me from waxing nostalgic, either. The other day in the car (my lady friend's car, because the radio in mine hasn't seen any use for most of a decade), we heard the new G 'N f'n R song and I immediately knew what it was. Axl is unmistakable. He's also a one-namer. Forgetting the fictional Axel Foley, he's the only Axl there is, even if his band these days is only G 'N R by name.

But back to that whole "last real rock band" comment. Obviously that can't mean that no one is producing good rock music anymore, because that would be bullcock (my new curse word; try it out, you might like it.) Rock music just isn't the same without Axl picking fights with everyone in sight. Don't get me wrong; I'm really into bands like Radiohead, whose music I will pay for whether they ask me to or not, but how many riots has Radiohead caused? Zero. And what fun is that? Shit, those guys even went to college. Losers. Axl never went to no college. Axl was too busy rockin'.

Guns N' Roses were dangerous. People died at their concerts. Somehow, all the band members survived. The band itself did not. No Slash, no G 'N R. Axl may own the name, but those days are past. But he's still Axl. The one and only.

If you feel like rockin' with Axl, below is G 'N R doing "Knockin' on Heaven's Door" at the Ritz in 1988. At the risk of pissing off Bob Dylan fans and rational people everywhere, this particular performance is, to me, the definitive version of the song. Also, painted-on leather pants with suspenders is really hot. No, make that hott (the extraneous "t" means business.)




Since that song does not even have a single mention of bananas (Dylan never was fond of the fruit), I've turned to The Muppets to fill today's potassium quota.

13 comments:

sid said...

Not sure if I should be admitting this but I never got into GnR.

Julie said...

Matt dislikes GNR. I still rock out to is in my car.

I can't help but be sad that I miss out on something by using a computer that is too slow to view video.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Our local rock station played the new song for one day and then decided it was terrible and have been boycotting it ever since. I never actually heard it though so I couldn't tell you.

I do love the music of today, but it just doesn't hold a candle to November Rain. And now I'm going to pull out my ipod and rock out to it.

Courtney said...

If Axl were still really hardcore, he'd call his band G N F'n R.

And I can't believe you threw in a hot with 2 t's. I can't bring myself to type it. This may be grounds for a breakup.

nancypearlwannabe said...

Dude, already have the new album and I am somewhat ashamed to admit that I like it. Buckethead kills Slash!

The Modern Gal said...

November Rain was epic.

And GnR, bananas and Muppets in the same post? Also epic.

Meaghan said...

Oh, it's been so long since I've seen Axl's signature sway and flip of the hair (while wearing that stupid bandana, by the way)!

Never was much for the screaming, unless it was Steven Tyler. For some reason, it's OK when he screams.

Jacob said...

GnR was really good at covers. Bob Dylan. Rolling Stones (Sympathy for the Devil). The Beatles (Live and Let Die). All excellent covers that are good enough (and different enough from the originals) that you can like their version without feeling ripped off that it's not the original.

Stefanie said...

I read today that Dr. Pepper made some crack about giving everyone in the U.S. a free soda if GnR finally released their next album. Apparently you'll be able to download a coupon on their web site soon.

If you like Dr. Pepper, that's my public service announcement for the day. If you don't, well, carry on.

A Free Man said...

You know, I like "Paradise City" and "Sweet Child of Mine" as much as the next guy. But GnR has become one of those bloated (and in this case borderline psychotic) bands that just bore the crap out of me.

surviving myself said...

I feel like I have to try this album out, just because.

Also, are you a Klosterman fan? He reviews it and it is pure genius. If you are email me and I'll send you the link.

Allie said...

I'm totally going to start storing bananas in my wall and when J gets mad about banana holes in my wall, I'm going to blame you.

Aaron said...

Axl Rose + Muppets = posting gold.