Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Or maybe it was DWM (Driving While Mustachioed)

I just noticed that my last three posts all feature pictures of beer. Rad.

Had a couple brews last night, too, but not as many as somebody else in the neighborhood, apparently. We were watching all that All-Star pre-game crap (Rollie Fingers is still rockin' that 'stache like nobody's business. I bet Tom Selleck cries himself to sleep thinking about Rollie's handlebar.) when a brief screech of tires outside was followed by that unmistakable thud/crunch of a car colliding with an unmoving object. Excited at the prospect of witnessing bodily injury and, if the gods be kind, a fireball or two, the lady and I hurried out the door in the direction of the sound. A car had impacted a tree pretty solidly on the hill next to our building, having somehow lost control and left the roadway on the wide, gentle curve leading down from the pool. Maybe that groundhog that lives around here ran out in front of the car and spooked the driver, but I'm going with intoxication as the cause.

Looking down the hill at the wreck, a crowd had already started to form. A few guys were standing around the car while one of them got something out of the passenger side. We later heard that the driver was bleeding from the top of his head, but before we saw that for ourselves, they all got in another car with whatever they got out of the wreck and took off! The cops, a fire truck and an ambulance showed up a few minutes later to find nothing but a car kissing a tree and a bunch of bystanders bystanding. Weird. I guess maybe a DWI is worse than leaving the scene of an accident. Or maybe the car was stolen, in which case there's no reason to stick around.

Either way, nothing exploded. No fireball. Movies are such bullshit.

We did stay up for the whole ridiculous baseball game. Fucking American League. I will say this, though- Papelbon got a raw deal from the NY media, but what else is new?

14 comments:

Courtney said...

Ahh, the ghetto. Love living here.

Allie said...

That is so weird!

Meaghan said...

I heard about the whole Papelbon thing. That's just lame. And even though I am a devout Yankees fan, I spent the evening trashing ARod because dude gets paid way too much money to play a game that he obviously doesn't love enough. I think he has made a pact with the devil.

Aaron said...

I wonder if the dudes that took off will be shocked when the police actually track them down. I swear some people do not possess a lick of sense.

Rollie Fingers' 'stache and the AL rule all. Thank you.

Rachel said...

I find it hilarious that every time I hear a screech of brakes, I hold my breath ... and then am disappointed when there's no crash. It's nice to know that others get excited about witnessing someone else's misery/stupidity.

nancypearlwannabe said...

So they'd prefer a DWI AND leaving the scene of an accident? Sorry you didn't get to see blood pouring out of some dude's head.

Also, your comment about Tom Selleck crying with jealousy was very astute, my friend.

driving courses said...

Many of these types of accident are attributable to DIQ - Driving without IQ.
I agree with E.B. White.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

Oh man, now I'm dying to know what was in that car.

em said...

I think this whole town has a drinking and driving problem. It's terrible.

The Modern Gal said...

The Rolliestache should be placed in a museum somewhere. It's a work of art.

And to hell with the AL! And the All-Star Game. I feel that the wreck was just a metaphor for things to come in that game.

Julie said...

So what... the beer you drink at home isn't worth posting?

And Hollywood crashes don't just happen. They take hard work. What did YOU do to make the car catch on fire?

Jacob said...

Julie: If they hadn't gone to a concert and met up with me when I was in Knoxville, Mickey would have had beer at home worth talking about. I hope his concert was worth missing out on a couple bottles of beer.

Amelia said...

Just wait 'til they track down the driver with the license plate number...idiots.

Chris said...

I'm thinking the driver had something in the car more valuable and intoxicating than beer.

Or who knows, maybe he just really didn't want the car anymore.