Is there a better way to dust a dracaena than with a damp rag, leaf by enormous leaf? That bitch Janet*, champion dust collector (Living Room North End division), took forever to clean off yesterday. Plus, she’s about as tall as Courtney now and has grown top heavy (ahem, insert Courtney joke here, possibly referring to bra size, but without crossing the line), so I spent even more time trying to stake her up with an unused curtain rod and some twine to no avail. She’s going to need a heavier pot. No, dude, not some heavier pot, a heavier pot. She’s falling over.
And now I’m blogging about my house plants. Yes, I am at home on a Thursday afternoon dreaming of formerly dusty dracaenas because I am once again unemployed. All that Bejeweled and Zuma I was playing at that last job could only mean one thing: they did not need my temporary services after all. It just took them two weeks to figure it out. You should know that I left there Friday holding the IT Depot scoring records in not only Bejeweled and Zuma, but online Skee-Ball as well. I tend to leave my mark.
Due to pressing matters like dirty indoor greenery and my general aversion to the kind of work you can get paid for, I have opted not to contact the temp agency this week. I needed some time off anyway to do some spring cleaning, real job hunting (can anyone tell me how to do this?), catch up on your blogs, and take my walk in the woods. It’s that last part that someone needs to pay me for, because it’s what I’m best at.
Anyshway, it’s a beautiful day, so hopefully between giving our grubby apartment a springtime enema and looking for people who will give me money for doing things, I can get outside and breathe some more pollen and smog. At the very least, this fine weather portends a perfect evening in which to go see one of the finest novelty rock acts of the 1990s for absolute free down on Market Square. Anyone out there appreciate large quantities of peaches as much as I do? Millions of them, even?
*We’re not in the habit of naming our house plants. I think Janet is the cultivar name or something.