Friday, April 25, 2008

Viva Viernes!

After a week of (by my standards) unusually focused and hugely hilarious posts (again, by my low, low standards), I think the time is right for some randomness. I meant to get around to posting something about last weekend's Alabama rock climbing tutorial (I managed to not kill any of my friends! Not even the ones I may have wanted to!), but that probably wouldn't be interesting to anyone who wasn't there. Or maybe it would. Just picture rocks, ropes, people and sunshine. That's about how it went.

1. Follow-up to yesterday's post: How often do you really notice the muscles you use to wash your hands, or turn your head, or roll over in bed? That's apparently a side effect of Operation Boot Camp. As neck-bandana pioneer and Chevrolet jingle-writer John Cougar Mellencamp once said: hurt so good.

2. To the person who used the urinal before me (this was the thought I was holding back from last week): From the standpoint of water conservation, I can appreciate your reluctance to flush. But in light of the acrid ammonia stench that makes me dizzy as I enter the restroom, just let the Kohler do what it is intended to do. Also, you should really drink more water, dude.

3. (Competing in the Rant Division) How completely flabbergasted do you think a person from the third world would be to discover that Americans in large numbers refuse to drink water from the tap? How would someone who walks maybe a mile or more to get a bucket full of water from a muddy, giardia-infested pool react upon learning that we eschew the pure, clean agua that is never more than a few paces away, literally comes out of the wall, and is virtually free? That we instead opt to buy the SAME WATER by the case in plastic bottles (which also makes it taste like delicious plastic) at hundreds of times the cost? Brilliant marketing trumps intelligence every time in this country.

4. I may not have a job come Monday. There have been murmurings. I will be taking my near-empty box of tissues home with me tonight just in case. And maybe a pen or two. I could use a vacation anyway.

Have a good weekend, compadres.


Jacob said...

Is it because of the layoffs that one would expect in a panic-induce economic downturn like this, or did they finally figure out that you spent all day reading blogs?

JustinS said...

I hope you don't get laid off.

Unless you hate it. In which case I hope you do get laid off.

Either way, I hope you get laid.

em said...

I am sorry to hear about the possible job upheaval, but it would probably be the best thing despite the lack of funds.

I liked this post. I suppose it spoke to my complete and utter lack of attention span.

I try my hardest to drink tap water from a water bottle. It's an Operation Boot Camp water bottle that fits nicely in a hand.

One time my friend Matt A. puked in a urinal. He remembers thinking (while drunk), "just aim for the urinal cake." Sick.

I was going to go run Cades Cove tomorrow morning, but now I am going to babysit my girlfriend's son instead. I think I'll just pretend I'm sore, too, and use that as my excuse not to run later in the day (the real excuse is that it's too damn hot).

kate said...

I feel ya on the unemployed front.

Also, glad to see your blogging muscles aren't too injured.

The Dutchess of Kickball said...

I've been laid off twice, I feel your pain if something does happen, but I'll keep my fingers crossed that nothing will.

As for bottled water, I can't drink water out of a glass, it's boring and I have no desire to drink it. BUT I will happily refill my bottle from the tap all day long. I have in fact been using the same Poland Spring bottle at work for the past six months. Perhaps I'll wash it one of these days.

Noelle said...

DOK, that's gross. I'm not letting you in my car anymore, and certainly no more kissing.

Mickey, I like that you were able to do a through urinalysis of the urinal dude. If something should happen to you in your place of current employment, I see where your future lies!

Vanessa said...

Hopefully the job will work out ok. The urinal? That's gross!

Allie said...

Mickey, I've got to stop reading your posts while I'm drinking tea. I'm one of those shoots beverages out of her nose when she's laughing kinds of people.

I almost educated (yelled at) some lady in the grocery store the other because she was buying three cases of bottled water and I was just so frustrated by it. But, I'm not that brave . . . yet. . .

Allie said...

Also, DOK, not to be lecture-y (I really try not to be like that, despite my almost outburst at the grocery store) but you may want to give a Kleen Kanteen or Sigg bottle a try. One-use bottles may leach icky chemicals when you reuse them.

Plus, they aren't see through, so there will be no tell tale signs of non-washing, and Noelle will never know. :)

Courtney said...

If you get laid off too, we will be the saddest couple in the entire world. On the other hand, we can spend all day doing whatever we want. So, not too bad.

beej said...

Not to mention all the petroleum based plastic the bottles are made of!

Also, good luck monday, compadre.

Mickey said...

jacob- I think it's a combination of the economy and some short-sighted corporate tightwads.

justins- You and me both.

em- Running Cades Cove sounds like fun. Have they shut down the road to cars in the morning yet?

kate- Yay! Kate's here! My blogging muscles are well toned, if I don't mind saying. And I don't.

dutchess- Allie beat me to it. See her comment. And know that I have some 9-year-old disposable bottles that are still in occasional service. I've washed them, though.

noelle- Yeah, I'm really into urine. Pee is my passion.

vanessa- Urinals are gross, but less so than a toilet.

allie- I had the same thought at the grocery store yesterday. And maybe tea is good for your sinuses. Kind of a tea-irrigation thing.

allie- You beat me to it.

courtney- We will not be sad.

beej- I didn't even want to get into that. And thanks, but I don't need luck! (Ha.)

Meaghan said...

Mickey, I'm afraid your readers don't know you at all. They're all sorry and hoping you don't get laid off, but you REALLY don't care. Who needs a job? (Just kidding, I know you work to have money for your climbing gear and food... and that's pretty much it.)

The urinal thing cracked me up! And on that note, male urine USUALLY smells way worse than female. I think it's because if we don't drink water, we're more likely to get bladder infections. TMI? Maybe so.

Stefanie said...

#3 is particularly sad, but more important, I'm crossing my fingers for you on #4. Good luck

Mickey said...

meaghan- Yeah, I thought everyone knew me better than that. No such thing as TMI.

stefanie- Thank you. The deed is done.