Man, I'm in a blog-rut this week.
I was going to upload some photos from the weekend last night and try to wring a post from our overnight trip to Georgia to see my parents, but I couldn't get my computer to pick up a signal. Is it wrong that I get pissed off when I can't successfully poach free internet? Like it's our neighbors' fault (the ones with unsecured signals, at least) for not providing more reliable service for us to steal. Los bastardos.
I didn't have much to say anyway. Still don't. We just hung out with my folks, let them feed us because we apparently don't do a good enough job of that on our own (which may be true) and watched the TV channels we don't pay for here. As usual, we were sent home with something ridiculous like half a chocolate cake that we will just let molder in the fridge until we decide to throw it away. I want to want to eat it, but I just don't. Not a big cake-eater.
Visiting my parents is getting increasingly weird, besides. It's not the usual "my parents still treat me like a kid" complaint, because they don't. I think it's the fact that I'm outnumbered, like an underachieving Storm Trooper on a forest-planet full of self-assured Ewoks. I don't stand a chance. When it's just me and Courtney, there's only one other person in the room who is disappointed in me. At my parents' house, however, all conversations inevitably come back around to what I should or could be doing with myself that I'm not. Throw in various not-so-subtle hints about things like "weddings" and "grandkids" and it's like I'm stumbling drunkenly through a minefield of my own shortcomings. Everyone's very diplomatic about it, but always being the only question mark in the room gets a little old. And it's probably mostly just my perception, but that's how it feels.
When you're as self-centered as I am, you tend to think people are more concerned with you than they actually are. When it comes to my parents, though, they're probably more concerned than I realize.
Aside from all that, my folks are a lot of fun to be around and Courtney and I both like spending time with them. I just wish every visit didn't put me in a multiple-day funk of self-loathing.
Okay, that's a bit over-dramatic, but I bet most people have somewhat similar experiences. It's been a while since I've written about myself like this and I promise it won't be a regular feature. I didn't really get too deep into it on this one anyway. I've always tried to leave the touchy-feely, self-pitying blog posts to other people, but I also feel obligated to put something up here, and this is just how it goes this week.
In other news, last week was the deadliest of the year so far for American troops in Iraq. 18 killed. Front page news? Hardly. Any guesses how many Iraqis died last week? Me neither, but I'd bet the house it was a few more than 18.
Oh! But look over there! Britney Spears was in a fender-bender!
Fucking shit, people.
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19 comments:
Glad you're back!
I was just thinking, wow, he doesn't usually write like this, but I really like it, when I got to the - "It's been a while since I've written about myself like this and I promise it won't be a regular feature." - part.
I wish, as a society, we could stop focusing on all the stuff we should be doing or accomplishing and how we continually fall short of that, and just relish being. I know that sounds really sappy and hippie dippy, but I think that's just where I'm headed at the stage of the game.
I've been trying to avoid visiting my parents w/o Mara, because if my dad gets me alone for more than a minute, the convo immediately turns to "Get a job!". Which, whatever, dad-dude.
Side-note: The line about the underachieving Stormtrooper amidst the Ewoks made me have an out-loud-chuckle.
Side-side-note: People are fuckwits. Seriously, on any given day, check the most popular headlines on CNN, and then compare them to what's actually happening in the world. Case in point: "Jesus image creates stir at hospital".
Mickey, I've been wondering when you were going to start living up to your potential. You know, find a great job that meets all your needs and wants, settle down and get married, and start having the 3.5 children that you, as an educated white male, should have.
Just curious.
I will take the self-pitying touchy-feely torch from you and run with it for a little while, if you'd like.
For the record, people, in no way am I disappointed in Mickey.
Your parents just want you to use that brilliant mind of yours for something that will make you happy, as do I. Not everyone has parents who care so much.
nothing but love for the Star Wars reference.
I think I hear violins in the background...
Just kidding! I think it's good to have a "everybody leave me the hell alone" post every now and then.
And I actually heard a lot about the death toll in Iraq (well, Americans anyway) last month. I think I heard it all on the radio though. But it was probably NPR or something.
allie- Thank you and well said.
dutchess- No. Not so poor.
aaron- I feel your pain. Embrace your joblessness!
npw- Thanks, mom.
noelle- Oh, I thought I was taking it from you. (zing!)
courtney- I know.
surviving myself- That was a last-second edit to lighten the mood.
meaghan- Yeah, it feels better to get it out a little.
I've been lucky. With a convicted felon for a younger brother, I could piss on the Pope and still be The Good Son.
Well, Mickey. You're nicer than I. When under pressure I generally snap at others and probably would have come up with a line like, "well at least I have a job!"
I have to agree with Courtney, though. Your parents definitely just want you to be happy. But they're parents so they can't help it. Wedding, baby and career talk just spouts forth uncontrollably.
I've never had a job that fulfilled me, and always felt a little sad for people whose job did fulfill them. Unless of course, they had a really sweet job, but those never pay that well.
Mickey, I'm not disappointed in you, but will be if you ever sell out.
Everybody is entitled to a good funk every now and then. Eat some cake and try not to worry about it.
And that Star Wars reference was priceless.
If you're not going to eat the cake, you could at least send some to me.
But, seriously, I think it's hard-wired in parents' DNA to always want something better for their children than what said children have now. If you got married, they'd want to know when you were having kids. If you had a kid, they'd want to know when you were having another. If you won a Nobel Peace Prize, they would wonder why you couldn't win a Pulitzer to boot. You could be Bill Gates and your parents would want to know when you were going to implant a phone in your head so they could talk to you 18 times a day no matter what you were doing.
That may be a little excessive, but you get the drift. Now about that cake ...
The touchy-feely, self-pitying posts are my arena. Don't be stepping on my turf.
Yeah didn't really hear about the American troops either. Did hear about Britney though ...
justins- That does make life easier, for you at least.
julie- Yeah, that's their job. And they really don't overdo it, to their credit.
jacob- My achievement may be lacking, but I definitely have not sold out. My bank account can attest to that.
stefanie- We both had some cake last night, actually- it just doesn't do anything for me.
rachel- Good point. That phone-in-the-head thing kinda scares me. The cake really isn't all that good. Too much icing.
sid- My point exactly. Now go get back to feeling sorry for yourself!
I love free food.
em- Free food is good.
And put ice cream on the cake. Much better that way.
chris- We don't have any.
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