Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Kilo would be a good name for a drug-sniffing dog

Some news from the ICW front (My newer readers can learn about her here, here, and here. You won't regret it.):

She had to put her dog to sleep this morning, which is a needlessly sensitive euphemism for ending its life. It was the pit bull puppy, Kilo, she got in December. He had parvo. The poor girl spent around $700 over the last couple of days trying to treat the dog, only to have to put him down in the end. I feel bad for the dog, because it must have suffered terribly in the end, from what I can gather. ICW, despite only having the dog for about seven weeks, says he was the best dog ever, but she seems to be handling it fairly well. Knowing her, she'll pick up another one in a week or so. I don't doubt she truly loves her dogs, but she treats them somewhat like collectibles. She's had five dogs in the five months I've known her, now she's down to one, and only one of those five died.

Also, she does taxes for Jackson Hewitt. Yup, the dumbest person I know does other people's taxes for them. Just this morning she mentioned only having had Kilo for four months, at which time I corrected her math down to seven weeks. She works for JH everyday after work and on weekends, the upside of which is that she has some good stories to tell me about the people, who must be even dumber than she is, who can't figure out the taxes on their $10,000 annual income. Here's a fun example of an exchange she and I had yesterday:

ICW: This guy was 33 years old and he had his 16-year-old girlfriend with him! And he looked like he'd been in prison, all covered in tattoos and looking like he hadn't taken a bath in five days!

Me: Yikes.

ICW: But she was only 16! Can you believe that?

Me: So she's 16 and he's 33? That's just like your parents, isn't it?

ICW (whose face takes on a look of confusion, then shocked recognition): Yeah… I guess so.

It really hadn't occurred to her. For the record, her father was 32 or 33 and her mother was 16 when she had ICW's older sister. How did she not make the connection?


Courtney said...

I'm so glad I do my taxes myself.

Also, poor Kilo.

em said...

I share an office with Stan from wigshop. He is not nearly as interesting as this woman. But then again, he's really pretty smart. So am I, but I am much more prone to bouts of idiocy than he is. One time, in a fit of travel induced exhaustion, I asked him if there was a "regular Korea" instead of "just South Korea." He said, rightfully so, "Are you kidding?" So what you wrote in a previous post linked here, yes, we all are subject to fits of stupidity from time to time. Oops.

Anonymous said...

yay, i am no longer the dumbest person you know. i have a dog in my house i am about to put to sleep to and it wont cost me any money. all it will take is a pillow which i already have. i have also thought about the whole gangster thing, cinder block, rope and toss in the deep end of the pool. Happy Wednesday everybody.


nancypearlwannabe said...

Poor little Kilo. What did she do with all the other dogs?

Noelle said...

I really, really have to suck it up and do my own taxes now. There should be some kind of test people have to take before getting a dog. And it should be administered by Cesar Milan in a whisper.

Mickey said...

em- I have my moments as well, but this girl's life is nothing but.

hightower- You were never the dumbest person I know. Have you forgotten about John?

npw- She gave them away for various reasons. Kind of like old furniture.

noelle- I totally don't get that reference, and I'm okay with that.

Aaron said...

Proving my long-held theory that tax laws are only truly comprehended by the moronic.

sid said...

You're kidding me right? And she does other people's taxes????

Meaghan said...

It doesn't really surprise me that someone so stupid does other people's taxes. They really aren't hard to do unless you own tons of property and have a lot of deductions, but even then, it's a matter of reading the instructions for the most part.

Sad times about the dog though! But yeah, from what you've said about her, I'm not sure the dogs are members of the family like they are for many of us.