For those who don't normally, go check out Jacob's post today over at his Land of Bliss and Blisters (Sorry, no link. I had to e-mail this post in, so no extras. Go click on it in my sidebar.) He decided to skip the usual history lesson and instead blessed us with an interesting bit of creative writing. It's not very long, and some of it I don't get, but it strikes my fancy. I always think I'd like to do a little more on the creative side around the Waitress, but my writing tends to come off as either nonsensical or pretentious. Sometimes both.
Actually, that reminds me of an idea that's occurred to me from time to time when I'm struggling with ideas for posts. Back during NaBloPoMo, I usually was a day or two ahead as far as knowing what I wanted to write about. The fact that I knew I had to post something kept me thinking about it. It gave me structure. Maybe that's why the quality of Jacob's blog seems to have improved somewhat since he's been keeping up with Blog365. I've never wanted this blog to just be about my day to day life because frankly, my day to day life does not a blog make, so I'm trying to mix it up. To that end, I'm considering instituting assigned days around here to force me to write certain things. Some folks do FAQ Fridays, and that could be a good start. Maybe I'll institute Bullshit Tuesday, when I'll completely make something up for my own amusement. Or I could accept submissions from you guys on what to bullshit about. I just like bullshitting, if you must know.
Character Assassination Thursday could turn out a lot like Bullshit Tuesday, but with a specific target in mind, like whichever celebrity, politician or friend disappointed me the most during the previous week. And no, Toby Keith would not be a perpetual target. He's just a general waste of life and we should accept that and move on. (Actually, I don't know anything about the guy except that he shills for Ford, plays shitty music and votes Republican. Really, I just don't like his name. People with two first names can't be trusted any more than people who use an initial in their name and aren't a member of a professional guild. And people who back into parking spaces. What's their hurry?) What was I talking about, pre-parenthetical?
Oh, right. How do you like the sound of If I were ____, I'd eat ____ for lunch today Wednesdays? It could go something like this: If I were Paula Abdul, I'd eat a basket full of puppies for lunch today because I'm Paula Abdul and that's what I eat for lunch every day. Of course, I'd stretch it by making it a five-course meal. And now I've completely lost the plot here.
So how 'bout it? Got any ideas for me? Or questions. I'll even answer questions. I ain't 2 proud 2 beg.
14 comments:
I only like things that are alliterative, so you have to limit yourself to that.
Multiple Martini Mondays. This is where you drink about 7 to 12 martinis, depending on your height and weight of course, and then write a post as coherently as you can. We the readers will judge the level of coherence and then berate you accordingly.
WHY isnt it the Weekend Wednesday? That's when you bitch about your week so far and then at the end say WHY ISNT IT THE WEEKEND?! (This one will be slightly predictable).
Fried Food Friday. This is where we readers will write (man I am an alliteration fool) to you a disgusting fried food you must eat (I am thinking squirrel testicles today) and then you have to eat that food and describe how it tastes. With only words that begin with the letter F, of course. Wait. Maybe the fried food should be alliterative too. Bat Brains. Llama Lips. Horse Hooters.
Racist Rednesday! You have to write a post that is so hideously racist and obscene that it makes you ashamed to be alive. (sort of like I am right now).
Holy hell, something is wrong with my brain today. Seriously, forgive me.
On a less idiotic note, here is something I have wondered: How long have you and your lady lived in Knox and why did you move here?
i like multiple martini mondays. but i'm afraid you would die after just one of them (the mondays, not the martinis--well, you would die after drinking 12 martinis in a row, but that's my point).
so it could be "maybe multiple martini mondays." leaving the option open for just one, but not limiting you to only one. let's face it, no matter how much alcohol you have, any post you write will be better than this comment.
Stan and I have been locked in a 10 by 8 foot office all day, our only entertainment being a picture of William Shatner and a poorly executed drawing of a rat Stan once made on our dry erase board.
Please forgive us our obvious problems.
Right on about people with two first names. Oddly, I can't trust people with two last names either.
These ideas sound great to me, especially Bullshit Tuesdays. If I weren't too lazy to be creative, my blog would basically be bullshit everyday.
I'm gonna have to vote "no" to the lunch Wednesdays thing, though. You lost me there. (That's not the kind of thing you would always write on Tuesdays, is it?)
Also, what's the title about? Did I miss a slew of song lyrics laced throughout this? I did catch "ain't 2 proud 2beg," but that was it.
I used to do "Raunchy Thursdays" but I stopped when I ran out of content and boyfriends. Feel free to pick it up if you want...
Agreed, Chris. What about the other TLC lyrics? You're leaving out their song that warns Jason away from those waterfalls. Without that kind of public service, Jason might hurt himself.
Segway to... Julie's most aweseome suggestion: Public Service Posting. It can be any day of the week. Monday, your PSA is about the hygenic importance of wearing underwear. Tuesday, your PSA is about the benefits of a vasectomy. Wednesday warns the public not to mix prescriptions with street drugs.
You get the point.
Because I've posted something new that might confuse your more tardy readers and because I do have some vanity in my heart, the direct link to the post Mickey references is http://malfeasance-courtney.blogspot.com/2008/02/in-which-i-talk-about-balls-more-so.html
The only problem is that I'm not sure how he finds it anything other than nonsensical and/or pretentious as well. I was basically just entertaining myself and Kim and I had eaten pizza the night before. Seriously. It's kind of like literary self pleasuring. I would have used the "m" word, but Mickey might get offended.
And maybe you could make a regular feature of what I did. I literally just had the clause "I reached up to the sky and thin" pop into my head and I basically wrote something after it to justify writing it down to start with. Because it was incredibly pretentious wording, I had to make it self mocking and because just writing to mock your pretentiousness is weird, I worked in some symbolism, possibly because I was teaching symbolism and allegory that day. You could even take suggestions each week for the sentence or partial sentence that you had to turn into a creative post.
To make em happy, you could call it Literary Lunes or Masterwork Miercoles, but switching to Spanish seems a little forced. I guess Masterwork Monday would work too.
How about Moody Mondays? Or Muddy Mondays -- You could sling mud at people both literally (and take pictures) and figuratively.
My husband and I recently had a long bitch fest about people who back in to parking spaces. I don't exactly know why it annoys us so much, but it really does.
em- This was the single greatest comment ever! Hilarious. Especially Rednesday. I'm actually considering taking you up on all your suggestions for at least one week. I'll think about it. It's Fried Food Friday that sounds like the most difficult, but I'm up for a challenge. And I don't drink martinis, but maybe I could substitute a beer or wine that starts with the appropriate letter. Stay tuned.
stan- That's why I'm considering moving it to Friday's, the better to recover over the weekend. Fucked-up Friday, maybe?
em- It's been very conducive to stellar comments from both of you.
chris- Yup, that last line was it. The title of the post always comes last, and since I was begging...
noelle- I'm not sure I'm that comfortable with myself or my audience. Now I'm going to have to go back and look for some old Thursday posts on the Tannenbaum, though.
julie- Yeah, that Jason needs to stick to the rivers and lakes. He's more used to them, ya know? And your idea will definitely be considered.
jacob- I think you may have messed up on that link, buddy. Unless your trying to deflect my praise onto Courtney. And no, I won't be making a regular post highlighting your work, ego.
allie- Flinging mud at random people could be fun, but also a lot of trouble, potentially. Maybe I could limit it to people who back into parking spaces (excepting police and emergency vehicles, of course).
Mickey, I meant make a regular feature of taking a sentence or phrase and turning it into a short short, not shining a spotlight on my work. My writing speaks for itself, which is probably why I have a limited number of readers.
And the correct link is here
I was actually thinking of setting up fireside Firday where everyone emails me any burning questions they would like to ask me. Oh and I might be asking you to guest blog for me. Lemme know what you think of the idea.
We need a Photo Friday or something. Pictures! Words are too hard, they hurt my brain.
jacob- Whatever. And you know I like your writing.
sid- Of course I'll guest blog for you!
npw- You must really be sick, coming in at comment 13! And my two rotating sidebar photos aren't enough for you? I have been thinking of doing a photo day, actually.
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